Mythologies 2019

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Birkenstocks

by Delia McHale

socks and stocks, track pants, why, highschool, Shia LaBeouf, cool, ugly, Western Massachusetts, ugly, sexy

Style is regional, and in my hometown style was birkenstocks. Everyone had birkenstocks. They wore them in the winter with white knit socks. Their pants, which were usually either adidas track pants or nondescript sweats, were tucked into the socks. This highlighted the Birkenstocks. If you want to know what this looked like, that’s on you. Or just Google “Shia lebeouf pants in socks”, which should give you a pretty good idea. Their shirt was usually either a flannel, a sweatshirt, or a t-shirt, all preferably with holes. This outfit was mostly worn by boys, but many girls could be seen wearing parts of it, and some often wore the entire thing.

Did it look good? No. At least not to most people. I don’t think they even thought it looked good. But somehow at Amherst Regional High School it really was cool. It was cool to the point I forgot it looked terrible. I had crushes on people who dressed like that. Sometimes, when I wasn’t being careful, I would get the urge to spend a hundred dollars on sandals I knew I thought were ugly. If you like Birkenstocks I apologize. I know they’re comfortable and convenient, but we both know they’re objectively ugly. While it may have looked sloppy, that outfit must have taken a conscious effort to maintain. I wonder how many times a day people had to re-tuck their track pants into their socks. The outfit functioned as a sort of inside joke where the punchline was to look as bad as possible. At the same time, it was a flex. It showed off how untouchable you were when you could come to school wearing a comically bad outfit and still be cooler than everyone else. Also, I’m sure it was comfortable.

By the time I was a senior, I had been seeing this outfit and its variations for four years. I was over the joke, and I was no longer in awe of the people wearing it simply because they were upperclassmen. Then I left for college, and all of a sudden it was gone. I couldn’t make fun of it anymore, because it seemed like nobody else went to a highschool were this outfit would be considered cool in the first place. I found myself feeling nostalgic for a bad outfit worn by people I mostly wasn’t friends with. I attributed this to homesickness. Time passed, and I still missed it. I still miss it now. I won’t wear it though.


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